Hit and Quit

There are definitely situations where you just have to apply the “hit and quit” motto. Something that I should’ve kept letting be.

I was swiping, mostly left, on Tinder when I bumped into an old lover of mine. We met in Tecate, BC in a music/bike event about three years ago. I thought he was cute as fuck, even with his both upper front teeth chipped. We started chatting and made plans to go see Afroman play at The Holding Company (cool joint, nice hippies). I got there, and he was accompanied with two friends on the front patio.
I finished my cigarette before going in, passed security and went up to him and gave him a big hug. The last time we saw each other was about three years ago. He looked exactly the same, definitely older, but the same. We had a couple of beers together at the venue, danced and sang away along with Afroman. Joints were being passed out among the crowd, everyone was feeling it and having a great time.
Right after the show, that’s when everything started going down hill; believe me, it became a pretty steep one really darn quick. We started walking towards my car, when he decided to ride his skateboard and do some sharp tuns along the sidewalk. He almost ended up bursting a window from a shop, made a total fool of himself…I was so embarrassed because there were a lot of people out there…I just kept walking.
We got to his place, had some more beers, talked, smoked wax and fucked. I was having a good time, finally,  until after making out, his stomach decided to return everything that he put in…EVERY-FUCKING-THING. I passed out, just let him and his situation alone.
Next morning I woke up early, as usual. Sneaked out of the bed, grabbed my clothes and went to the restroom and changed clothes. Went back to get my vans and, for my surprise, one was way heavier than the other…Yup, just exactly what you’re imagining…it was covered and filled with puke. I don’t know what the fuck he ate the night before, but it looked like a big freaking rotten cake inside. I didn’t know whether to throw them away , clean them or kill him. Ended up going with the second choice and almost puked myself during the process.
Went back to the restroom and rinsed them, shit wouldn’t stop coming out from there. It was so gross! Like, for real, who pukes into a shoe? At this point I don’t even know if he did it on purpose, because he is kind of a weirdo..
After “dealing” with that mess, I grabbed all of my belongings and poked his arm very lightly to say goodbye; didn’t actually want to say goodbye, just thought that way I could say I tried.
As soon as I walked out the door, I ran the fuck out of there! OMG! Dude! Never again!
I immediately contacted my main dick, drove as fast as I could to my currently number one guy. On my way there, I was just thinking how much I regretted meeting up with him. Like, why did I do it, you know? I just shouldn’t have even gotten in contact with him on the first place. Should’ve just let it be.
Lesson learned though, the stinky, disgusting way. If things don’t go right, if for whatever reason you stopped talking to an ex-lover, LEAVE IT THAT WAY! It wasn’t meant to be for you to keep fucking him/her, don’t waste your time. Just avoid it, okay? (Unless you’re really horny) Not even worth it!

Ps. FYI, My vans survived.

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Two with everything, please (No, I’m not talking about tacos).

So this last weekend I went on a Tinder date, a manager of a brewery in Cali. Let’s call him John, John (33 y/o)  super liked me on Tinder, he looked handsome in his profile, and it also said that he’s 6’5…Who wouldn’t like to climb something like that? Meow. I definitely started talking to him, we kept messaging back and forth for a couple of weeks before deciding to meet up. As confident as I may look and/or sound, I do get anxy about these kind of meet ups.

There I was, sitting at the bar of Thorn St. Brewery (great IPA’s by the way ♥), waiting for him while I was talking to a couple that were right across from me. He touched my shoulder, I turned around and stood up to give him a hug and melted a little when I smelled his delicious cologne.
We had a couple of beers at that place, then went to another couple of bars and had a beer on each. When we were at the last bar, after we finished our drinks, I thought I heard him say that we were gonna go to a different bar. Got out, started walking and then all of a sudden we were in front of an apartment complex, I was like “WTF?”…gave it a couple of seconds, looked at him and thought “Why not?” lol.

Ok, so when it comes to guys I usually kind of research them when I get the hold of any of their social media accounts. Believe me guys, most of us girls do that. Nothing new, let’s move on.
By checking out his instragam, I found a picture of his brother, which he already talked to me about. Didn’t think that the younger brother (24 y/o), let’s call him Derek, would be that handsome until I walked into the apartment. The place smelled of dank weed, which I’m not complaining. John introduced me to his jaw-dropping, handsome brother Derek, and then he left to get some food. We smoked a little weed, and then John showed me his special refrigerator with awesome barrel aged beers. He opened one because it was a “special occassion” (yeah, cus’ you gonna get laid, bitch! Pardon my french…). The beer was delicious and the night was going great. I really don’t remember how the makeup session started, but I definitely remember how it ended *a little smirk appears on my face*.

Sex with him was great, it definitely was drunk sex, but the sexy drunk kind of sex.  The only time that things got a little bit weird for me was that, when doing it, he would ask/say “Who are you?”…Something that my ex-boyfriend, the one from the first blog posts, would tell me over and over since the first couple of weeks that we met. So it was definitely a movie kinda’ of moment, you know? Him doing me, and me thinking/remembering my ex. Then completely forgot about him the moment his face was between my thighs. Had me looking stars for a while in his pitch-black room.
Not gonna lie, faked an orgasm, it wasn’t gonna happen for me. There are three different kind of orgasms, okay? The real one, which unfortunately many of you guys don’t know how to achieve, the “get it over with” one, self explanatory, and the A for effort, the one that he got. Think about it as a big bumble bee sticker with a giant A+ on your Grammar homework from Elementary, wasn’t that shit dope? I was happy, and he was happy that I was happy, and that’s all that matters at the end of the night.

After two glorious rounds, we passed out. At least I did, he works graveyard, so we have switched up schedules. Woke up next morning, worked that morning wood, and was planning to either pass out again or start getting ready to head home. Instead, he invited me for breakfast. Changed and headed out to the living room where John was waiting for me. Then I see Derek in the kitchen doing dishes…That handsome Derek. Suddenly it wasn’t only John and I going to have breakfast, it was Derek too! It’s cool, obviously because he’s hot af and wouldn’t mind spending part of my morning with his company (okay, got a little carried away), but that would’ve been a big “no-no” for me.

The three of us happily entered this very old breakfast joint in San Diego called Big Kitchen. Bomb ass potatoes by the way, super recommended. John sat next to me and Derek across him. I noticed Derek glancing at me a couple of times. John left us for a couple of minutes while he went to the restroom. Didn’t know what to do, I just had a stupid smile on my face, started laughing a little because I got nervous and he would just look at me. Couldn’t think of anything to say, so I just asked things that I already knew about him. That’s when I started thinking like “Wtf are you doing? Why are you smiling at him like that?”…

I don’t know, I kind of wish I met Derek instead of John. Maybe it’s also because of the age gap, or the ‘wanting what you can’t have’ situation. I don’t know if I can keep seeing John because I would be wanting Derek at the same time. Or should I just be straight forward and message Derek? Nah, that would be a big bitch move of me… Or should I just leave all of this behind?

Damn it.

The One That Got Locked Away Pt. 1

This is a story of a girl named Lucky…jk, his name’s Derek. So before being on Tinder, I was on Plenty Of Fish…yes, I know, POF. So if you’ve never heard about this dating app, it’s more about trying to get into a serious relationship, I didn’t know about the difference back then. We started chatting, after that we started calling each other on the phone, and then we decided to meet up.

The first time we decided to meet up turned out a complete fiasco, he couldn’t understand my directions to where to go once he crossed. Derek didn’t see me so he crossed back to the States, gave it some time, gave it a second try by crossing back again to Tijuana, but we didn’t find each other so he ended up going home.

For the second time he went down to Tijuana, I was running late, power walking down to the crossing point, when all of a sudden I see on the corner of my eye someone trying to catch up to me, it was him! We hugged and laughed and headed back to my car. I asked him how his crossing experience was and how was his day prior to coming down. We headed to downtown to have a couple of drinks, and when I was looking for a parking space he told me that there was something I needed to know about him and current situation. He said that he was on probation…wtf, right? I don’t know, but I think that these kind of things should be told before hand. I just acted cool, found an empty space, and parked.

I took him to Tropics, a bard in downtown; I liked taking my “gringo” dates there because it’s kinda dark, there are table booths and an old school  jukebox. Which, if you really think about it, there are mood setters and, also, good distraction strategies if things get awkward/boring. Anyway, if you ever find yourself down in Tijuana, this is definitely a dive bar to stop by and have a cold  caguama (big ass beer) while listening to Selena.
Our date went very well, both of us had a great time getting to know each other and we even started planning the next date.
Afterwards, I took him back to border, and said “bye” to that full set of beach washed, sexy, hair.

Of course it didn’t take more than a couple of minutes for me to sit my ass down on the desk chair, get on detective mood and start searching for his charges online. Well, it turns out that about a couple of years back he robbed a jewelry store on gun point…great. I just kept thinking and thinking; he looked like a good guy, worked every day at a surf shop making and designing surf boards and, besides, it was only his first offence and was almost out of probation. People change and are given second chances, he was at a weird point in his life when he committed that crime and seemed to have his shit back together. At the end of the day, I just saw beyond all of that and kept replaying my evening with him in my head.

Derek started visiting me every other two weeks, he would always surprise with flowers, ALWAYS! Actually, I think he’s the only man that has ever bought me flowers without being a holiday or something like that. I remember one time we were at the beach and he wrote on the sand with a stick our initials inside a crappy heart. It was so revolting to my stomach, you know? So cheesy! But I can’t deny it, I loved it at the same time.

But ya’ll know that happiness isn’t forever right?

To be continued…

 

Up to Date

During the time that I’ve been back in California with my family, there have been three court dates. The first one didn’t go that well because,obviously, I wasn’t there personally to testify and didn’t have enough evidence; so I sent screen shots from the messages that I had with his sister and him, admiting and recognizing his anger issues. After the second court date I was informed with good news, my case passed and he was finally declared guilty. On the third court date he was going to be charged, I was asked to send a letter if I had any type of requests, which I did, but every time I sat down to do that, I would get lost and just couldn’t. When I did manage to do so and send the letter, it was too late, it arrived a day after the hearing. What I wanted to request was a substance abuse program, that way he would be having to do scheduled and sporadic drug tests. Now he has to do community service, 18  months of probation, and the domestic violence program (which includes, counseling, and anger management).
Now, I was told that I could request restitution, something that I gave a good thought on, asked my friends for advice and their opinions, and acceded to do so.

There’s an upcoming court date in June where the desicion’s going to be made. Hopefully, everything goes well, like it has been since I decided to leave Oregon.

#BitchBetterHaveMyMoney