Third and Last Strike Pt. 3

While the policeman was talking to me, the policewoman was speaking with my upstairs neighboor. After both of them left, I heard my door knock and it was him, which I’ve only said hi twice in all this time living here. He came in and asked me if I was okay, I couldn’t hold my tears or my words in, I immediately started telling him everything, I felt, I don’t know, safe with him…this sense of tranquility. He just stood there and really listened to me, apparently he is a counselor for children that have been through some kind of abuse in their life’s, he left around forty five minutes later. I finished packing, finished organizing everything in my car, came back, stood in the middle of the living room and gave that apartment one last look. All the memories that were made in that place were played before my eyes as I was swipping from left to right, and it ended when my face was facing the door. I locked the door, even though there wasn’t no use for it because the glass was cracked right open. I got in my car, called my ex-roomate and let her know that I was on my way. When I got to her place, her roomates welcomed me with a comfortable silence in their cozy living room, she cooked something quick for me and her roomate gave me an inflatable bed to sleep in. Before passing out, I contacted his sister that lives in Temecula and told her about the situation, and that she should be there for him, because his brother isn’t really the best shoulder to lean on. She wasn’t surprised by his actions, she actually accepted that he has anger issues, but didn’t think it would “happen” to me because of how I was a positive change in his life. She also told me that he didn’t deserve me, that it was the right desicion to make for me to leave him and get to a place safe, that he had to confront the consequences for his actions. All of this was talked through Facebook Messenger, which later on helped as evidence for my case to pass and him to be 100% guilty.

At 6 am, I woke my friend, and said goodbye..got in my car and started driving off. Off to the middle of the United States, my ass was heading towards Omaha, NE once again.

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Diary entry 1.

So I already put some clothes back into the drawers from my old bedroom, was having a good morning, had a bomb ass breakfast and decided to go for a walk at the beach. I opened the drawer and picked out my pink tank top, and guess what the fuck I found on it? A blue fucking hair, this is the second fucking time I find a blue strand of hair, the first time on the compartment that I put my underwear in and now on my tank top. Fyi, that’s the hair of the 22 yr old, single, psycho, bitch, mom, that was fucking my ex-boyfriend, It just makes me think that nothing, absolutely nothing, that we had together was close to being real. God damn it, how could I be so stupid? I was so drawn by him, hypnotized..

I gave him everything, all of me, I was fully committed to him, to us. I’ve never been a relationship type of girl, he was the second boyfriend I’ve had in my 24 yr old life. I gave myself a chance, after three years that took me to get over my first boyfriend, I decided to make that jump, but love got to disappoint me again.

So, I’ve been thinking in two great women lately, celebrity’s that have been in a domestic relationship, Christy Mack and Rihanna, and how their lives developed after that. Both of them grew as a person, became stronger, successful women, but one of them have already found a great, loving man, and the other nothing at all. It just keeps me wondering, wondering if I could get to be lucky and find the right person, or close myself to possibilities.