Up to Date

During the time that I’ve been back in California with my family, there have been three court dates. The first one didn’t go that well because,obviously, I wasn’t there personally to testify and didn’t have enough evidence; so I sent screen shots from the messages that I had with his sister and him, admiting and recognizing his anger issues. After the second court date I was informed with good news, my case passed and he was finally declared guilty. On the third court date he was going to be charged, I was asked to send a letter if I had any type of requests, which I did, but every time I sat down to do that, I would get lost and just couldn’t. When I did manage to do so and send the letter, it was too late, it arrived a day after the hearing. What I wanted to request was a substance abuse program, that way he would be having to do scheduled and sporadic drug tests. Now he has to do community service, 18  months of probation, and the domestic violence program (which includes, counseling, and anger management).
Now, I was told that I could request restitution, something that I gave a good thought on, asked my friends for advice and their opinions, and acceded to do so.

There’s an upcoming court date in June where the desicion’s going to be made. Hopefully, everything goes well, like it has been since I decided to leave Oregon.

#BitchBetterHaveMyMoney

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Third and Last Strike Pt. 3

While the policeman was talking to me, the policewoman was speaking with my upstairs neighboor. After both of them left, I heard my door knock and it was him, which I’ve only said hi twice in all this time living here. He came in and asked me if I was okay, I couldn’t hold my tears or my words in, I immediately started telling him everything, I felt, I don’t know, safe with him…this sense of tranquility. He just stood there and really listened to me, apparently he is a counselor for children that have been through some kind of abuse in their life’s, he left around forty five minutes later. I finished packing, finished organizing everything in my car, came back, stood in the middle of the living room and gave that apartment one last look. All the memories that were made in that place were played before my eyes as I was swipping from left to right, and it ended when my face was facing the door. I locked the door, even though there wasn’t no use for it because the glass was cracked right open. I got in my car, called my ex-roomate and let her know that I was on my way. When I got to her place, her roomates welcomed me with a comfortable silence in their cozy living room, she cooked something quick for me and her roomate gave me an inflatable bed to sleep in. Before passing out, I contacted his sister that lives in Temecula and told her about the situation, and that she should be there for him, because his brother isn’t really the best shoulder to lean on. She wasn’t surprised by his actions, she actually accepted that he has anger issues, but didn’t think it would “happen” to me because of how I was a positive change in his life. She also told me that he didn’t deserve me, that it was the right desicion to make for me to leave him and get to a place safe, that he had to confront the consequences for his actions. All of this was talked through Facebook Messenger, which later on helped as evidence for my case to pass and him to be 100% guilty.

At 6 am, I woke my friend, and said goodbye..got in my car and started driving off. Off to the middle of the United States, my ass was heading towards Omaha, NE once again.

Third and Last Strike Pt.2

My respiration was off, my heartbeat was up, and my head felt like it was about to explode. I grabbed everything that I gave him, all his clothes were thrown in the slimy trash can that was outside our apartment. I sent a message to that low life, Krystie Spears, telling her that she won, that it was fine, but that all of his crap was gone. He immediately came back, I was placing some of his belongings outside, by this time my roomate left because she had something to do.
While I was placing a box out of the door, I bent down and that’s when he kicked me behind my hamstring, I stood up and started walking, didn’t even give me a chance to shake it off when he threw me against the wall. Again, he left, and took what he could. I immediately called my friend and she said to hold on, that she was on her way. I kept packing my things when I received a phonecall from her ” He’s coming! He’s coming!” I asked her where she was and she told me that she was entering the alley, but that he was running towards my place, I dropped my phone and pthumbnail_FullSizeRender (1)ut myself against the door. He tried to unlock the door, noticed that I was there and started kicking the door until it cracked and he broke the glass that was there. I was
really scared, hoping that he would give up and leave, but the door wasn’t going to hold for much longer so I stepped back, let him in and I went outside where my friend was. She was standing outside her car, he started walking, flipped me off with his both hands, and pulled his pants down when he was across the street.
A little after was when the 911 call was placed by my friend, the harrassment and abuse wasn’t stopping, and it was clear that it wasn’t even near to an end. I waited patiently for the police to show up, it felt like an eternity. Two big police cars parked in front of my apartment and the interview with them started. After describing them a hundred times everything that happened, I was taken inside to strip down and have pictures taken of me where he previously and recently hit me. I could only keep thinking “Why is this happening to me? How did it come to this?”…

 

 

Third and Last Strike Pt.1

Couldn’t sleep that night, smoked some weed, didn’t help, so I finished unpacking for the second time all my belongings from the car. I felt good, being in my home felt great, cooked some breakfast for him for when he got off from work he would have some hot food on the table. Everything was painting for a good day, but he got home stressed from work. That was it, that’s what ticked him off, off on me…

He only took a couple of bites and sat in bed, his attitude was weird, he was acting kind of sketchy. We left the apartment and went to do some laundry at the laundry matt. He took my tablet and spent all the time inside of the car in the backseat chatting with who know’s who…Who am I lying to ? He was talking to that girl. He stepped out, finally, I approached him and asked him what was going on, then he said “We’re done”, I used stared at him with such disbelief and disappointment. Went inside, started grabbing my stuff and headed to the car fast. He was right behind me, trying to get into the car as fast as he could before I had a chance to lock the passenger door. As soon as he got inside he started banging the console and almost blew the air bag up. This was the first time I raised my voice at him, he called me a bitch and I said to him, very loudly “You think that this is me being a bitch? You’re wrong, but if you really want to see a bitch, hang on ’cause you’ll see one RIGHT NOW”. I drove to the apartment, went straight into the room and threw all of his clothes from the closet out to the living room. He then, again, said that he was going to stay at some buddie’s house and wouldn’t come back ’till the next day and that he hoped that I was gone by then. He prepared his overnight bag and went out for a walk. I coulnd’t take the frustration and anger, I had to talk to someone, so I called my ex-roomate and she came by. Half an hour later, he comes back, quietly, picks up the bag, and left without saying a word. I went into the kitchen and kind of opened the blinds, there he was, inside of a ridiculous orange car, that’s when I finally was able to put a face to the name. My world crashed, just kept walking back and forth in the living room, my friend didn’t know how to calm me down, she was also in disbelief.

Second Strike Pt.2

It was past midnight and he wasn’t up yet, my tablet was his alarm clock, but it was already packed. He overslept and was running late for work. Then, at 1 a.m., I heard him get up so I turned myself facing the wall with my pepper spray in hand without the safety lock on under my pillow. He quietly entered the room, got his clothes from the closet and ran to work. I felt in peace and was able to relax for a little. He would get off from work at 8:30 a.m., but this time  he got back at 6:00 a.m., came in and went straight to the restroom to take a shower. I got up half an hour later, dressed up and walked into the kitchen. There he was, sitting on the living room floor with his memorabilia box beside him looking at old family pictures. Then I saw his face red with puffy, glossy eyes. I gave him space and finished packing some other stuff, returned to the kitchen, and told him..

Me: “If you have something to say, this is the time to do so”

Him: “I don’t know what to say”

Me: “Look…one of the worst things that someone can do is to not to say what they’re feeling, because the regret afterwards of not doing so is  an awful one. But I do have something to tell you, I want you to be happy, and it’s clearly not going to be with me, and that’s fine. I don’t want you to live with someone that keeps you unhappy. Besides of all the shit that you did to me, I’m only going to take the happy memories. You, well, it’ll be on you on how  you want to remember me by. I love you so much, tried my best, but wasn’t enough. I don’t want to leave this way…pissed. Can I give you a goodbye hug?”

He wasn’t able to look at me in the eye when I was telling him these words. He then just threw himself into my arms and started crying hard on my shoulder. I just hold him tight, inhaled slowly so that I could remember his smell and ran my fingers from my right hand through his hair.

I walked into the room and continued packing, he walked in and said that he was going to fight for me, to fight what he destroyed, to fight for our love. That he was going to fly over there and bring me back to our home. That he wasn’t going to let something that has changed his life in many positive ways to slip away. I told him that we needed time apart, that he needed time alone. That maybe, some day we would work, but not now.

 

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And as you can see, because of this picture, I decided to stay, to give him a chance…to give us a chance, another chance.

Second Strike Pt. 1

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We were working things out, things were still kind of on edge, but I had hope.
My friends were very worried about me, they wanted me to fly back to Tijuana, to be with them and with my family, somewhere safe. So I started lying to them and to my parents, telling them that we were broken up, that things were done aftert that fight, that he wasn’t living there at the apartment anymore.

I don’t remember how the discussion started, but I do remember, myself, being on my knees, between his legs, while he was sitting on a rocking chair that his aunt gave us; he was stubborn, and well, being a dick. After having a somewhat long of a conversation, or at least that’s how it felt like; I told him, in a calm but serious tone, that my patience has a limit, and that God’s my witness I was patient…so then I asked him  “What is it that you want? Because I know what I want, and what I want is to be with you, to be how we were,I don’t want no one else.”…he just paused and said “What I want is for you to want to leave”…my heart dropped, was in complete disbelief. After he begged me to stay, after all the promises that he made, after all the loving words that he said. I said that it was fine, if that’s what he really wanted. I went to the bedroom and stayed there, he didn’t care seeing me cry, he didn’t care the sadness that showed on my face, he got his phone, the apartment key and left, again…
I stayed in the room the whole day and afternoon packing again for the second time..I was so mad, frustrated, I felt betrayed, worthless and played…
It was night already, I was chatting on Facebook with a very good friend of mine, unfortunately she has been in an abusive relationship before, when he got back. As soon as he walked through the door, my body started shaking non-stop, couldn’t control my body, my hands and jaw were shaking uncontrollably…He got into the apartment yelling “I’m gonna make some noise!”, he came into the room, I was frozen, again…stiff as a board, he grabbed some stuff from under the coffee table that was across from the bed, dragging everything out, he crumbled a letter that I wroted for him and soaked in with water and threw in the kitchen trashcan, while he did this, he was looking at me and smiling. He ripped the curtain that separated the bedroom from the rest of the apartment, and then he tried to throw me out of the bed by pulling the sheets, which are mine, off the bed and lifting the mattress. I could smell alcohol on his breath…He went to the bathroom and started to take a shower, he was “rapping” what he was feeling at the moment, and what he was feeling was clearly hate toward’s me. I coulnd’t listen to him for another second, so I put a CD on the DVD player and played it as loud as I could. He then went to the living room and slept the rest of the night. Something that I couldn’t do because I was afraid, afraid of him maybe entering and try to do something to me in my sleep…

To be continued…

 

 

Oregon Domestic Violence Laws

Penalties for Assault in Oregon

A person convicted of a misdemeanor in Oregon can be sentenced to up to one year in jail and a fine up to $6,250, or both.

A person convicted of a Class C felony can be sentenced to up to five years in prison or a fine up to $125,000, or both.

A person convicted of a Class B felony can be sentenced to up to ten years in prison or a fine up to $250,000, or both.

A person convicted of a Class A felony can be sentenced up to twenty years in prison or a fine up to $375,000, or both.

Restitution

A person convicted of assault in Oregon must pay restitution, which involves reimbursing the victim for any expenses resulting from the crime, such as the cost of medical treatment or counseling, or repair or replacement of damaged property. Unless the victim agrees to accept a lesser amount, the person convicted must pay the entire amount of expenses and losses that the victim incurred.

Civil Compromise, Deferred or Suspended Sentence, and Probation

Oregon provides for several alternatives to jail or prison that may be available to a person charged with or convicted of assault associated with domestic violence.

Civil Compromise

An assault charge – particularly a misdemeanor – can be dismissed if the defendant and the victim agree, with the judge’s approval, that the matter has been resolved through some other means, such as a letter of apology or reimbursement for expenses incurred by the victim. The court must consider the district attorney or prosecutor’s position on the proposed agreement, though the court can allow a civil compromise over the district attorney’s objection.

Deferred sentence

After the defendant is convicted or pleads guilty to an assault charge, the court can grant a deferred sentence. This means that the court postpones sentencing for a period of time on the condition that the defendant comply with certain requirements, such as no new arrests or criminal offenses during the conditional period, psychological treatment (a highly likely requirement in a case involving domestic violence), or volunteer work in the community. The court also may require the defendant to be on supervised probation. If the defendant satisfies all the court’s requirements, the charge will be dismissed at the end of the period. The arrest and dismissal will be part of the defendant’s criminal record but the defendant will not be a convicted felon. If the defendant fails to satisfy the court’s requirements, the court will impose a sentence and enter a conviction into the record.

If the court suspends a sentence, the court imposes a jail or prison sentence but allows the defendant to serve all or a portion of the time on probation rather than in jail or prison. The defendant must successfully complete probation and any other conditions the court imposes or he will be required to complete the sentence in jail or prison. A person on supervised probation must meet with a probation officer and comply with conditions such as treatment, maintaining employment, curfews, drug tests, and avoiding any further criminal activity or arrests.

The Value of Legal Representation

A conviction for assault involving domestic violence becomes part of your permanent criminal record. If you are convicted later of another crime, the court can consider your prior conviction and impose a harsher sentence in the new case. A convicted felon loses the right to vote and carry firearms and can lose certain professional licenses. A conviction for a violent crime – even a misdemeanor – can hurt you when you are looking for a job or applying to rent a house or apartment. An experienced attorney can determine whether you have any grounds for dismissal of the charges against you, explore plea options or represent you at trial.

Only someone familiar with the local criminal court system and cases like yours will know how good your chances are for a favorable outcome in court or at the negotiating table. A knowledgeable attorney will take all of this into consideration, assist you in making decisions about your case, and protect your rights.